ACCIDENTAL SURPRISE..

Being a part of Qora,I get the weirdest questions.I take all of them,vèry serious of course.I treat every question put to me, as information,someone needs from me,according to the background topics,I provided.Some questions are asked by Qora itself,as my daily “quests“.

I’ve had some very interesting ones,that got quite a few “upvotes” and I’d like,to share them with you,from time to time.It won’t be exactly,as I wrote it on Qora,as I’ll relive these moments and tell the same,yet different.

One of the questions,took me back,to nearly 30 years ago.


I won’t repeat the question,but it was more or less something in the line of;”What was the biggest surprise,when you found out you were pregnant”?

Well my first pregnancy wasn’t a surprise,as I got pregnant prematurely,to get out from under my mother’s abusive treatment,going on for a few years,by then.My eldest son was born,just a bit more than a month after my 17th birthday.Then came the 2nd son,15 months later and 2 years after that,my eldest daughter was born.I had the usual life,that accompanies,such a foolish decision.Poverty,abuse and infidelity.


I decided to call it quits, when my eldest daughter,was only 9 months old.I started my nursing career,with no support or alimony,from their deadbeat,excuse for a father.I struggled and my parents(mother too,like every once in a while)supported where possible.I had to take the usual 6 months,to a year course,over a time span of two years,to cope with all the responsibilities.

I’ve been in a few relationships,after my divorce,but had a hard time,to commit.

I met my youngest daughter’s father,when my eldest daughter was only 3 years old.It was a whirlwind romance.We moved in and set a wedding date,as it was mandatory at the company,he was employed.He could only move from the hostel,to a flat,if he handed in proof,of a set wedding date.As a joke,we chose my birthday,2 months later…moved in together and as the date came closer,we decided to rèàlly get married.He asked my father and let his siblings know.None of our siblings believed it,but his eldest brother and wife,decided to make sure for themselves.They waited at the magistrates office,as we drove up.Our surnames were the same and our siblings,had a good laugh about us,sounding like the movie“Kramer vs. Kramer”

We discussed,having another baby and after trying for a while,we went to see a doctor.After numerous tests,we were told,that his sperm count was extremely low and that we could get pregnant,but he’ll have to undergo treatment.He wouldn’t have it and said,that my children are still small and already called him “dad“They also adored each other.I’ve also been on different contraceptives and my menstruation was in turmoil.Something important to consider,but not huge.

Then he had to go to East London(South Africa)as part of his job,as fitter and turner.Since it was,just a six months away contract,my two boys stayed with my mother(my father passed away a month before my eldest daughter’s 1st birthday)Ànd my sister,àlways willing to help her family,whenever there’s a need,took my daughter,to move in with her and her daughter.

When we got there,I also started a job as a sales lady(true!!)
I could live that life of that young lady,I missed out on,in my youth.We quickly made friends and our weekends were booked.

The day before we were to leave,I had an appointment,with the hairdresser,for a perm.I was furious,when she took out the hair curlers….after the wash and rinse and as she tried to blowdry,my hair was just “waivy”on the left hand side and ever so stiff,on the right hand side,that she couldn’t get a comb,or a brush through it.It just wouldn’t “blend“with the rest.It would flip up,each time she combed it.There wasn’t anything to do,as I had to wait two weeks,before I could neutralize the perm and we’re leaving early morning.

After we came back,from the contract in East London,he still had to do two months work,in another town,before we could go home.
They paid for us,to stay in a hotel,for the duration.

We’d go out at night and at one stage,I started to drink something,I rèàlly hate,with passion;”white cane spirit alcoholic“beverages,like Mainstay,Seven Seas or Cape to Rio….with passion fruit,another “hate”… Passion Fruit,Roses passion fruit.
We’d play pool each night and I’d take a cane, passion fruit and lemonade,back to the hotel room,to drink the following morning.Yes,that’s the first thing I had,before anything else.
I put on weight and wouldn’t you,after all those alcohol and cold drink(soda)?I had loose stools,because I drank Eno,orange flavor,to quench my thirst.

Then I got rèàlly sick.I went to see the doctor,who examined me and draw some blood,for more tests.He had no idea where to began,searching for the problem.He told me,to call the following day.

We went downstairs,to the Hotel lobby and called.The secretary answered and said, that doctor was out,on an urgent call,but she give us the results….

This made me nervous,as the doctor didn’t want to wait,to give the results.There surely is something wrong,vèry wrong….

She said:”The test results are back and doctor said it’s positive…you’re pregnant”I shook my head and said “what”!!?sure,that’s she’s mixing up her pasients reports.Again she said “you’re pregnant”I started shaking and tears started running down my cheeks and I asked “are you sure….how is that possible,it can’t be“..She replied,”well you’re definitely pregnant and the blood results confirms it” I just cried and asked:”Now what do yòù think I’m supposed to do now“? After some silence,he took the phone from me,listened intensely and said goodbye.He hanged up the phone and looked at me.His eyes softened and he picked me up and turned me around and around.He couldn’t wait,to tell the other kids and family…

She was born,on the 20th of December 1990 and on 7th January 1991 her sister went to grade one.

Her father died,when she was nearly two and a half years old.

She’s been the family’s “accidental surprise”Every single one in the family,loves her to bits.If nobody tells,no one else would ever know,my current husband,isn’t her biological dad.Almost all photos and memories,would include her and Dada together.They’re inseparable and she turns her siblings,aunt and uncle, (my side only,unfortunately)around her little finger.
Dadda loves his children very much and the grandchildren run circles around him….he doesn’t mind…



To her sister and brothers,she’ll àlways be “little Shenè”and even though she turns 30 on the 20th of December,she’ll never be anything else,but the family’s baby girl.

My biggest surprise of being pregnant?NOT KNOWING I WÀS PREGNANT.