This afternoon,I was sitting in front of the TV,peeling potatoes,when my eye caught a child,in an advertisement.She had “weird” but beautiful blue eyes,freckles on her nose and wild,curly blond hair….
Her name was…I was only 7 and in grade one and she was in grade two.She was the eldest of six children.Her mother literally,had a child a year.Her brother Daniel followed,then sister July,brother Albert,sister Linda and baby brother Johnny.
She irritated me,because she would lick her hand and wipe the flat part of her foot,from the middle,to her toes.She did this involuntarily,like someone stuttering.She almost àlways had a runny nose and after playing in the sand,she’d have two red stripes under her nose,like the color of the sand,where the snot,ran down to her lip.
Her father was very strick and they,mother included,were terrified of him.One day,while her father was at work,we got into some mischief and threw stones at the oranges,hanging from the top branches,of the tree.We wanted to get some,but weren’t allowed to climb trees.Her father got home and in the midst of winter,he made her undress,climb into a plastic bucket and rinsed her down,with the icy cold water,from the hose pipe….I couldn’t believe my eyes and was so scared,that I ran home,to tell my mother.
At some stage,as we played in the thick red sand,in a wide dirt road, closed to traffic,right outside the gate,to our backyard,her brother told her,that her mother wants to see her.I waited and because she took so long(time is of the essence,if you’re only 7 years old)I went over to her house.Then I asked her Aunt,where she was,the Aunt showed me to the room,where she and her two sisters slept.
In her bed,was the body of an old man.Her mother and the wife of this man,were washing him and when I wanted to take a closer look,her mother told me, that this uncle was dead and this is what dead people looked like.She said I should touch him,to know what a dead person feels like.At first I wouldn’t,but then she told Nolene to and she did and told me that there was nothing to it….I touched the pale,icy cold
body,with the purple spots and ran home,to tell my
mother.After the birth of the baby boy Johny,the mother changed his nappy one day,while I was playing at their house.I had a brother, five years younger,but never saw him without his nappy.So I looked at his private parts and the mother explained,that this was what a boy looked like.Then she told Nolene to kiss him,on his private parts and she did and told me to do it too.I remember giving a quick kiss,agter being coerced,just to get out of there…. then ran home and tell my mother.
Next to them,stayed an old lady and her bachelor brother.They were old and grey,already.Their daughter got pregnant prematurely and without knowing she was in labor,gave birth on the toilet.He fell in and got brain damaged(did tell about little Johny,in one of my previous posts)The daughter got a job,at some stage and the old lady
looked after him.I’m not saying took care,because it
was the last thing,they were
interested in doing.
One morning before school, my mother sent me over,to ask for a bit of sugar.The back door was open and I knocked..nobody answered and I walked in,like I àlways did.I looked in the old lady’s room and she wasn’t there, so I went to her daughter’s room and froze in the door….
The old lady was sitting upright and under the blankets and the old man,was on his knees, trousers down…..behind the little boy,trying to penetrate him.She shouted at me and I got very scared.I didn’t know,what they were doing,but somehow,I knew it was wrong.I ran home,to tell my mother.
Some time,during these miserable days,I got invited to spend the Saterday afternoon with Nolene and her family,as well as an uncle and Aunt of hers,with their partners,to have a picnic,down by the river,far away from home(7years old,could’ve been only 25 kilometres)and then sleep over,for the night.
I can remember the one Aunt,a beautiful and friendly lady,with a drink in her hand,leaning against the dark blue/black car.The adults were drinking and laughing and Nolene and I,sat on riverbank,digging holes and see the water, filtering through the sand and filled the holes,with clean water.
Then her father and uncle
came over,to see how we’re doing.Her father stroked my thigh and I stopped him.He told me it would be nice,if I just let him stroke my
leg.The uncle started with
Nolene and she said,you should let him play with you,it is nice and you’ll like it too.
I prevented him from reaching my panties and started crying.I didn’t know what was happening,but I surely knew it was wrong.I cried,until they took me home.
The mother and father talked to my mother and after they left,I didn’t get a chance to tell my mother,as she grabbed me and gave me the hiding of my life….because of my nasty dirty mind !!
It never occurred to her,that something must’ve gone wrong…something must’ve happened,to me,for me to know about stuff like that!!!
I never went over to Nolene’s house again and I didn’t want her,to come play at my house….what if my father is also trying,to do to her,what her father and uncle tried to do to me??(7 years old’s thoughts,remember)
Years later,my eldest brother got mixed up,with a rèàlly loose girl.One night she came over,to our house and we could see,that she was assaulted.I went with my brother to her house…..just to find that child molester and his wife,in a house not far from where they lived,6 years previously.
They were sitting at the kitchen table and was heavily intoxicated.He smirked at me and I hated him,all over again.He assaulted this girl,who turned out to be a niece,of Nolene,because she wouldn’t give in,to having sex with them,anymore.She was 17!!
I told my brother,some of what happened and he hit that man so bad,that I thought,he was going to kill him.
I’ve told my mother so many times,about my runin with acts of sex,or acts leading up to it and yet she decided I was at fault.
- What is the appropriate age,to teach children about sex and sexuality…
- To not let someone else touch their private parts
- To know what feels right and what is definitely wrong.
- To trust your small children,they can only describe something in detail,if they were exposed to it.
I think,you have to treat your child,according to his/her own merits.You’ll know, when the time is right,for your precious little one,to start sex education.Sometimes it can do more harm,than good….
- I ran home…
- I told my mother….
- She never said,or do anything about it.Was it out of ignorance,or was it because we were raised,to respect adults and what I did was disrespectful?
- It happened to me in 1972….how many children were actually sexually abused?
- How many children told their parents and nothing was done?
- What happened to those 6 children?
- Did they follow in their parent’s footsteps?
- If any,how many children did they molest?