NO REGRETS,YES…?

If we rèàlly want to be honest,with ourselves ànd everybody out there,we’d admid that only a handful of us,did in fact become our life long dream…

As a little girl,didn’t you dream,of being this beautiful and popular girl in school?To be the leader of the cheerleading squad…the prom queen,dating the handsome captain of the biggest sport event in school,with his well toned body and sexy smile,sensual lips,that all girls dream of kissing…didn’t you want to be,the girl who performs good in sport and who’s parents are sò proud of….

The house you grew up in….a safe neighborhood,in a big modern house,with a beautiful garden,white picket fences in front and you playing carelessly,on the front lawn,with your siblings…

Daddy starting a fire for the barbecue…he is a very handsome man and holds a very high position,in the company he works for.He’s popular and his friends envy him…their wives envying mom…he never raises his voice and as a child,I don’t know what “drunk” and “under the influence” means,as he has never misbehaves.When friends tell,about their parents “having words”,or “fight”,I have nò idea,what it’s all about…then my thoughts go to mom,in the kitchen,preparing salads,then pouring a whiskey for daddy and a wine for herself.The table cracking under the snacks, sweets and cold drinks….

Mom…with her hair teased high up,in a beehive bun,wearing a short modern dress,that compliments her thin waist and well developed bust…the dress jùst above her slender knees,to display her well-formed, athletic legs….àlways happy and smiling…never angry or sad,never raises her voice,never cries,never worry,never struggle…

Maybe you had a dream,of being that beautiful woman..soft blue eyes and long,curly dark blonde hair…sitting on a picnic blanket,laid out on the grass,under a willow tree,jùst off the river bank…watching the chikdren(always a girl and a boy)playing and chasing each other,through the waiving tall grassland…The willow’s thin branches,swaying in the light breeze…

Catching a glimpse of your husband,standing knee-deep in the clear,slow flowing river,fly fishing….a husband,your friends envy you for and his friends, wished they could be.Always calm and the thin lines around his eyes and mouth,evidence of his friendly personality….always smiling…always willing to lend a helping hand.The kids look like their father…the little girl has his big,innocent brown eyes and dark brown hair,reaching way past her waist and her brother is inquisitive,always looking for new “adventures” and likes to solve riddles.He treats his little sister,with love and respect and he cares a great deal about her….

We didn’t have a TV set, growing up and only went to the cinema,every now and then.My friend’s parents openly showed their love,for their partners and their children.They played with their children,on the green freshly cut lawn and chased them around.My friends laughing and giggling..You never heard the parents fight,or even say a harsh word,to them or to others.The father,took them to dine out and they had nice birthday parties.They àlways had beautiful clothes and I can’t remember,ever hearing them cry.They went away on holidays and had a holiday home,on the coast.

Our dreams,of what we want to be one day..what type of person,what type of job,wife,husband,children, life,house,car….success, salary,is usually based,on the lives of the people we choose as role models.We set our own goals and by not reaching that same goals,we are disappointed and become miserable and negative.The main reason, I didn’t become my dream, was through and through,due to my parents lack of proper parental knowledge and therefore forcing me,to go against my big dreams and do something stupid,like getting pregnant prematurely.If they were different parents,I could’ve had a better and happier childhood life…..I could’ve become what I wanted and reached my dreams,lived my perfect live…..?I’m not sorry,at àll for having my 4 beautifull,special children and my 7 beautiful grandchildren,as well as being married,to my wonderful husband.My greatest regret,is I let that my mother intimidate me,punished me unfairly,making me that scary follower...I regret that I wasn’t strong enough,to just hold out,thàt year or two more,under her tyranny and buy me that time,I needed to become my dream and live the happy carefree life,I saw my friend’s parents have….

Regret…YES,I could’ve been the neighbor’s child…..

Regrets…NO,I have the family I deserve,love and cherish

Regrets….YES,I should’ve had them in my life,a vèry long time ago…

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