JUST CAN’T WAIT

From a very early age,people told me that I’m a very patient person and some still do today……Can’t really understand why… they still do today,but I think that I am anything,but patient today…..anymore…..and come to think of it,I may have been patient in a lot of instances,but when I let my memories roam way back,to my childhood,into my later years and even today,as I am writing this post…….

As a little girl,I can’t remember much of the positive side,but I can remember some times that I just couldn’t wait…..

We didn’t grow up,believing in Santa and didn’t know anything,about his reindeer and elves…living in the Northpole where it is very cold and snowing….what was snow,in any case?My sister,8 years my senior and my late older brother,were usually the ones,that tried to create a Christmas atmosphere.Especially my sister,when she was a little older.She had a job as a cashier, working in a large chain-store,in the afternoons after school,on weekends and during school holidays.So,she would use some of her money,to buy some decorations and let me help to hang it….of course out of my father’s way,because he had no idea,how to celebrate Christmas.It made me feel sad,when I visited my best friend’s house,with a freshly cut Christmas tree,decorated with all kinds of shiny and glittering stuff….the presents under the tree and watching the Christmas programs,on their new television set.I was in grade 2 and we only got our 1st television set,when I was in grade 8…..I also don’t remember about getting Christmas presents,but the one time,I got a small tea-set and,coloring books and crayons.,on the morning of Christmas…..no tree,presents under it,or even socks.No I got mine when I woke up,on the morning of Christmas.My father couldn’t wait for us,to remove the decorations.Then came New Year and we’ll have fire crackers and on New Year’s eve,we’ll sing Silent Night to my father,he’d cry(never found out why)but that was it.What I remember, was that I couldn’t wait,for the week to pass by,to get to New Year’s eve,to light the fire crackers

When I was in Grade 2,I couldn’t wait,to go to Grade 3,because then you have a bigger playground and had more privileges.It wasn’t that“hot” after all,because with the privileges,came more responsibility and it meant,that the teachers could now practice corporal punishment.I hated it and couldn’t wait,to go to grade 5,because then I could join the netball team.I enjoyed playing netball and always played in the “A”team….the best of two,per Grade.What I hated,was that my parents couldn’t care less,that I needed sport sneakers and I felt ashamed,that the school had to provide me and the 3 or 4 other less fortunate children in the team…..mostly because my parents weekend drinking habits,were more important,than what we as children,needed for school.We had to take the sneakers(still smelling brand new)home and whiten it again,with a whitening product,especially for the white sneakers,called shoe shine.Something my parents didn’t easily bothered to buy….so,it meant that directly after the games,we had to go to the teacher’s classroom and clean the sneakers….then be in trouble at home,because I’m late……so I wished to go to Grade 7, I just couldn’t wait ….big surprise.

The house we’ve been renting for years then,was sold and we had to move,to a new suburb and a new school!!I think it was one of the worst years,in my school career.I couldn’t wait to go to high school……

So Grade 8 wasn’t what I expected,or dreamed of either…….my only two friends’from the primary school,that transferred to the high school I had to attend,were in different classes,as they both had different subjects,according to what they are studying for and it surely wasn’t even close to the subjects,I had to take….YES had to,as parents decided their children’s subjects,back then.That meany,I was in a school,with students,who are already friends,or had already formed groups.At that,the Grade 8’s were initiated and where the others were 3 or 5 per group,I had it bad,because I was alone,and where the initiation usually only lasted 1 whole week,it was increased to 3 weeks.It meant I couldn’t wait,for this miserable time to pass by quickly…….

I did well enough,to make the netball team again,but my heart shouted hockey!!It was a new problem,because I needed a hockey stick and team clothes……It took a week or two,but I got a 2nd hand hockey stick and team outfit,from a girl who was changing schools,as her parents got divorced.It went quite well but I struggled with making new friends,at that age.Unfortunately,I got involved with a group of bad girls.I learned how to smoke,bunk school and slip out at night,which wasn’t difficult,as my parents,were permanently drunk,over weekends.I only started out near the end of my Grade 10 …..I had to rebel against her slavery!!I was still very scared of my mother,but I was tired,of being her slave…….so I just couldn’t wait,to finish school and find a job,get married and have children of my own…….

I got pregnant prematurely,but I planned it,as I just couldn’t wait two more long years,to get out from under my mother’s abuse and unfair upbringing.So my eldest son was born,just a bit more,than a month after I turned 17.I also got married and I also had two more children,which meant,that I had 3 small children,in just 4 years….at that,I married a loser,a cheater,a deadbeat father,non existing in the marriage and non existing to the children.He would leave us for days alone,without food or any money.I had to beg and borrow from the neighbors and after 4 years of marriage,I just couldn’t wait,to get a job and get divorced and leave the struggling life behind …….

Well,I got a job as a nurse,which paid next to nothing,but thanks to my family’s support,we survived somehow…….I also got divorced,got married again,became a mother again and then a widow,after just under 5 years of marriage….I have been all over and I just couldn’t wait,to move to the country…..which I did…..and couldn’t wait to get married,to my current husband,which I did.Ic  couldn’t wait,for the children to become parents and get a peace,of what I’ve been through,raising them.Well,they grew up way to quick and got their own children…….

I’ve been married to my current husband,for 24 years already and I just can’t wait,to plan for our 25 year anniversary.My husband is turning 50,in November and my youngest daughter is turning 30 in December…….I just can’t wait,plan their big bash…….My husband’s leave was canceled more than once,from the beginning of the year…..and at last his leave was approved and he worked his last day today…..he is on leave for a whole month!!!!!!We’ve been punished,during our lock down in South Africa …..the government urged us,to not pile up stock,as we will be able to shop,under strict conditions of course……they banned all tabacco products and all alcohol…….even non alcoholic beer.Then the one minister decided cigarettes could be sold,but then another one decided against it……then we were promised,that we’ll be able to buy alcohol as soon as we go to stage 3…….we were all very happy and couldn’t wait and knew it would be a week later,because we went from stage 5 to stage 4,in about 2 weeks….We couldn’t wait,but big was the surprise,that we would only move to stage 3 on the 1st of June!!!!Again, we had to wait and at last,it is Sunday,the 31 st!!!!!YES…tomorrow is the first of June……..

AND WE JUST CAN’T WAIT!!

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